Once you have learned to forgive those around you, you must also learn to forgive yourself. Some of you may think, “well, I’m not angry at myself at all.” If you have genuinely forgiven yourself already, then that’s fantastic, but if something at the back of your mind is still causing feelings of disappointment, shame, embarrassment, regret, remorse, hopelessness, guilt and sadness, that is a sign that you most likely have unresolved issues with yourself.
The act of not forgiving is itself a limiting condition; it is a roadblock that only you can tear down and remove. If you refuse to forgive yourself for past mistakes and misdeeds, you will never feel that you deserve more than what you have now. This applies not just to wealth (general abundance) but also to other things like happy personal relationships, health, job, etc.
How can you improve your ability to forgive people and yourself? We must remember that slights and grudges arise primarily because of our own judgment of people and their actions; it is judgment toward others and ourselves that ignites anger and rage. We MUST be willing to let go of those judgments toward the past behaviors of others and ourselves, and if you relinquish your hold of your personal judgment, forgiveness will come more easily. Once you let go of your initial personal judgment, you will also begin to see motivations to forgive.
Non-forgiveness will not bring you peace of mind at all due to resentment regularly resurfacing and this is not helpful in developing a more positive mindset; this can become a simple motivation for forgiving more easily in the future. For those who have suffered many great and genuine injustices in the past, this information may be hard to comprehend and apply to your way of thinking and feeling.
Think of it like this: the past is the past and what’s done is done; you can’t change what has already happened, you can only change the way you feel about it now. Try writing a nicely worded letter or email explaining to someone how you feel in response to their past actions, write at the end “Even though your actions may have caused me to feel this way and you may not have done it on purpose, I sincerely forgive you because we all make mistakes” and then don’t read their response until you are in a stronger, positively impenetrable state of mind that has already TRULY let your judgment of your own past behavior and their past behavior go; simply because the person may become defensive and attack your feelings and all you truly need to forgive him or her is to let that person know how he or she has made you feel so that you can release those negative emotional thoughts and gain peace of mind.
Holding grudges and resentment towards others takes a lot more energy; dwelling in the realm of negativity takes double the energy and effort! So when it’s all said and done, you really are just wasting valuable energy on something that you cannot do anything about anymore and valuable energy that could be used for motivating yourself toward more positive things.
It’s good to learn from your past mistakes but the learning process does not require holding onto grudges or resentment. You may feel that holding onto the resentment is a good reminder to avoid certain kinds of people but it’s NOT. Resentment is not positive or transformative; in fact, it is negative and counter-productive.
Learn to forgive yourself, everyone and everything and the last remnants of anger and resentment will begin to disappear, making it MUCH more possible for you to form happier and more positive thoughts and emotions to manifest the life you truly desire.
“The past does not define the future, we do.” — Clark Graham
DON’T let what you can’t change in your history hold you back — FORGIVE COMPLETELY!!!!
Up to this point we have been focused on how your mind and emotions create the reality you experience but this has simply been to spark the mental motivation and inspiration needed to physically act; without the proper positive attitude for mental motivation and inspiration, changes in physical behavior are less likely to stick around!